So, I got the boot. I think I walked out of that building (escorted of course) in a tunnel. I had a feeling it was coming. We’d been warned there was some corporate restructuring that would impact those in my position. Crazy thing is, they warned us a week before they told us; let us dangle at the end of the hook so to speak. Simple courtesy or even humane treatment would have been to tell us what was happening and then tell us who got the axe. One swift cut, but no, bro.
Anyway, my point isn’t to debate the heartlessness of corporate decision making. I mean to set up the feeling of walking out of a building where I had invested over half my life with no clear understanding of where I was headed. Of course, I had bills, a wife, a kid in college, and I was still at least ten years away from retirement. I was going to need some income, but I had no desire to enter into something I would be wanting out of in six months.
In that week where I dangled, I researched. The number one thing I found was encouragement to stay calm. Don’t Panic. Keep a perspective. Don’t rush into the first job you stumble upon. Therefore, on the trip from the building to my car, with the lump in my throat growing with each step, I forced myself to take deep breaths. I opened the door and dropped my few personal items from my desk into the passenger seat, and I sat… taking deep breaths. I was empty. I was stunned. I was lost. I was questioning, but I wasn’t panicking.
The drive home was certainly reflective. My mind was going back over the past hour, the past week, the past thirty-three years. I actually had trouble thinking about the future or trying to imagine how I would find employment. It was just a long trip down memory lane.
The truth was that I never imagined that I would struggle to find a job. I had thirty-three years of stable, dependable, loyal, dedicated work on my record. I had twenty-seven years of management experience. I was more concerned about what company I would find compatibility with than whether or not I would be offered employment.
I’m now twenty months post layoff. Twenty months, almost two years, of searching, applying, attempting to find a living. Ineligible for any unemployment due to both my severance and my need to access retirement funds to meet my obligations. Unemployment is at an all time low. There are 38,000 jobs available in my state alone. Yet, I’m still unemployed. I never expected it to go this way. Over one hundred and fifty applications filled out, and nearly as many “Sorry, but” emails.
“Don’t Panic.” That was important advice then, and it’s important advice now. The instinct to freak out is strong. I know our resources only last so long. Sometimes it can look bleak, but panic doesn’t help the situation. It clouds the view. It throws off our focus, and messes with our thoughts. Panic leads to anxiety, depression, and health issues. Panic is just another way of giving up. And by all means, if you feel panicked, see a professional. I’m just a guy sharing my experience, not an expert.
Yes, I have concerns. I am concerned that we will use all of my retirement fund trying to stay afloat. I’m concerned that my wife feels the burden as well. I’m concerned that over this length of time my odds of employment are growing weaker each day. But I’m still looking, applying, searching for an opportunity and I’m still staying arm’s length away from the Panic Button. You should too.
